Topic of the week

“Self-Love” is becoming more popular and the reinforcement of self love has hit mainstream media. While the increasing popularity of self love is a good, I’m finding that self love is being presented in a limited way. I often ask people, “What do you think self-love is?”

The most common response is some combination of positive self images, body positivity, and self-care practices. When we think about self love we often think about positive affirmations and bubble baths, or loving our bodies and having good hygiene. While these are examples of self love, really loving yourself is so much more than that!

Self-Love is a secondary event that occurs within the relationship of other self-related stuff. Self-love is the result of self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-care. Self -Love is a basic human necessity.  Self-Love is an act that demonstrates regard for your own well-being and participation in behaviors that are healthy and demonstrate high regard for for ourself.
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Self-Love is appreciating and expressing gratitude toward yourself so much to the extent that you treat yourself as if you are capable of getting your needs met.

When we are practicing self-love we are really using self-respect, self-acceptance, and self-care. When we use self-love we do what is best for us and behave in ways that allow us to get our needs met. Self-love is respecting yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and participating in good habits. In practicing self-love we do not sacrifice our own well-being to accommodate others. Self-love in practice is pursuing our own success because we use behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes that motivate us to show and express our own worth! 

Ultimately, self-love is important for our good mental health. Self-love supports overall wellbeing and encourages physical, psychological, social, and spiritual growth. 
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Raquel Buchanan is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT #118976) in California. Raquel specializes in improving self-confidence and self-esteem in people who have experiences childhood trauma or adversity. Raquel offers both virtual and in person sessions to children, teens, adults, and family. For more information please visit www.TherapywithRaquel.com