SHut your mouth when you're talking to me

What are the most common phrases a person with narcissism will use? 

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder crave power and control in their relationships, often by using emotional abuse.  

If you are in a relationship with someone who has narcissism you may hear a lot of threats to leave the relationship if you don’t “act accordingly.” Their statements may be as overt as “If you’re gunna do that then I’m out [of the relationship]” or “I’m not gunna be with a person who…”

You may also hear criticism about the ways that other people behave in relationships, especially when there is an opportunity to criticize your behavior as well. For example, your partner may comment poorly about the behavior of a friend’s significant other while you engage in something  similar. 

Individuals with narcissism will often uses implicit messages to impact their partner like “Go ahead and do it, you’ll see what happens.” They are not directly saying what will or will not happen they leave it up to you to decide.  You may also hear “Don’t/ do this or else,” making the partner fearful of the worst outcome. 

One of the biggest forms of emotional abuse and a phrase you may hear from a person with narcassitic personality disorder is “If you really loved me you would….” (Fill in the blank).  

When interacting with someone who you may suspects has narcissistic personality disorder you must ask yourself, “Is this a reasonable request?,” “How does my partner’s statement reflect me as a person?”,  and “Are they really understanding where I am coming from; do I feel heard and understood?”

The phrases, words, and comments are often used to stir feelings of inferiority in their partner leaving the victim second guessing their every move. 

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If you or someone you love needs help in their intimate relationships, please visit www.therapywithraquel.com for more information. Raquel offers individual, couple, and family counseling in Palm Springs, Ca. 

 Raquel is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT #118976) in Palm Springs California